Making these kids feel special

The Fisher Home after opening their presents … notice the smiles.

Christmas time is always a blast if you are a houseparent at St. Joseph’s Indian School. You get to be there as the students open their presents and see the joy on their faces.  While some students don’t get exactly what they want, most get what they want and more.

These boys are the current eighth grade boys in the Fisher Home. They got basketballs which was a big hit because each one of these boys is convinced they are the next, Lebron James … which in relation to my basketball skills, they might be!

The day in the Fisher Home started off with church, which was hard for the students to sit through. The fact that they were opening presents immediately following church did not escape their minds.

After the boys opened their presents they played bingo which was a big hit for the young gentlemen. They had a chance to win hacky-sacks, quarters, soda and basketball cards. For the evening activity, the boys went swimming and got to have various treats the houseparents brought from their own homes.

The day was an awesome opportunity for me to remember why Christmas is special. It was a chance for us to show the important people in our life feel special.

Thanks to all the donors who helped us make these kids feel special.

 

Talking through joys and stresses

We’re continuing to meet with different departments to discuss the new Strategic Plan. While the first couple of groups were large, 20 – 30 people, today’s meeting with the Rec Center staff meant that three of us were listening to the ideas and feedback of a group of four. I quite preferred that because we had some interesting ideas and back and forth dialogue and the staff came away with a much better understanding of the difference they can make in the plan, and some opportunities the plan can open up for them. We have lots of good ideas for wellness and new activities for staff and Native American students alike. Like life in general, we’ll have to choose a few and let some go. There’s neither time nor staff nor facilities to do everything we’d like.

Shelly, who is a relatively new staff member, appreciated being asked her opinion. “You really want to know what we employees think!” she remarked to me. We sure do. It’s from our staff that we get most of our best ideas.

I ate supper with the Sheehy Home (boys high school). Half the guys were still at basketball practice when I arrived, and the other half were playing NBA basketball video games. I wonder what the favorite spot around here is?!  After supper the high school students who are applying for our June exchange program with our sister school in Handrup Germany gathered. One of the duties of those chosen will to give a series of presentations to the classrooms overseas. Maija, who trains houseparents, gave the American Indian students some pointers on how to prepare. In a couple of weeks, their power point presentations of “Life at St. Joseph’s” will be used to help select which students will represent our school.

The high schoolers ended the evening with their Sons and Daughters of Tradition session, which included a talking circle to help process joys and stresses that occurred in their lives over the holidays.

 

 

Lakota home remodeling project

The kids are so excited to see the finished homes!

The Lakota (Sioux) homes are eight homes in four buildings, two homes in each building. The homes are the Cyr/Perky, Fisher/Pinger, Speyer/Rooneyand the Stevens/Mathias. These homes were originally built in 1982. Our remodeling started in 2008 with the Cyr/Perky Home and we are finishing the project this year with the Stevens/Mathias Home.

During the renovations the kids that are assigned to those homes, are temporarily house in another home on campus.  The renovations usually begin when school is dismissed for the summer and finishes up the following summer.  Therefore, the home is under construction for one school year.

Part of the homes have had the walls opened up to make the family living and study areas more open. Handicapped bathrooms were also added.

To make the homes more energy-efficient:

• new windows were added
• the heating and cooling systems were upgraded
• more insulation was installed

St. Joseph’s remodeling projects are going great.

With the completion of the last of the home remodeling this year, the children will be living in homes that are cooler in the summer and much warmer on the coldest winter days, with all the conveniences of home.

PS – read more about St. Joseph’s Indian School remodeling projects here!

Your friends,

The Facilities Team

 

Laughter and reconnecting with old friends

My name is Mary Jane.  I work with the alumni of St. Joseph’s Indian School.  Each year we try to have three to four alumni luncheons at various places in South Dakota.

On Sunday, December 18, a group of us traveled to Rapid City, South Dakota for an alumni luncheon.  Four of our high school students, RJ, Erin, Cody and Makayla along with another staff member, Maija who was a houseparent and is currently working with our high school students.

During the course of the luncheon we had twelve alumni along with their families join us.  We had a total of 40 people for lunch.

We had so much fun reconnecting, sharing and learning what was new with each other.

Henrietta, who currently lives in Rapid City went to St. Joseph’s Indian School in the 50’s.  Henrietta’s cousin LeAnn attended St. Joseph’s in the 70’s and also joined us for lunch.  Both ladies shared their stories with Erin and others about their times in the dorms, school days and chores that they had.  Currently LeAnn owns her own cleaning business.  She stated that she learned to clean so well as a student at St. Joseph’s.  Erin, our high school senior, shared her stories of being able to travel to Florida for a donor luncheon and Germany for an exchange with our sister school.

Three others had been students here during the transition from the dorms to the homes and were able to share many experiences.  Kory, David and Janice all were classmates in the sixth through eighth grades during those days.  Kory and David were in the high school program and a year in the college program together.  It was amazing to watch them reconnect, share their stories and learn what each other have done since their ‘St. Joe’s days’.

Parents of several of the alumni came as well.  They too talked about how much they appreciated all that St. Joseph’s had done for their children while they were here.

Steve, our 7-8^th grade science teacher and Kara, our 2^nd and 4^th grade teacher also came.  They too enjoyed seeing former students and joking about their times together in ‘the olden day’ as they call it.

The day was filled with laughter and reconnecting with old friends.

 

A good lesson for our youth

Today we arrived home after a few days in Pittsburgh for donor appreciation luncheons. We met kind and wonderful people who are part of our St. Joseph’s tiyospaye – extended family. I lived in the Pittsburgh area for about a year when I was four, and visited friends there several times during my growing up years, but had never been to the city as an adult. We enjoyed walking around and exploring what the city had to offer. We walked through the campus of Duquesne University, and saw what classrooms and dorms look like at a University.  It’s never too early to try to get our Native American youth thinking about college.  As we walked through the cultural and entertainment district, I realized that I have never seen so much black and gold as the community really takes pride in their Pittsburgh Steelers, especially on a home football weekend.

We all had a great time in Pittsburgh!

Through the generosity of the Steelers and the Rooney family, our students got to go to the football game against the Cincinnati Bengals. It was my first NFL game as well, and for December, we were blessed with mild temperatures and a beautiful day for a game. We sat mid way up in the end zone, and all five of the Steelers’ touchdowns happened in our end of the field.

What I will remember even more than the game, was our visit to the practice facility. I’m fascinated by what goes on behind the scenes in most any business or organization. What impressed our students the most was the room home to the six Super Bowl trophies. What impressed me more, was all the “classrooms” in the facility. To succeed at such a high level takes not only conditioning and physical skill, but being able to learn and out think your opponent. It was a good lesson for our students, who both like sports, but also realize how important using their brain is.

At Friday’s luncheon, I reconnected with Joe, who was in the seminary with me during our high school years. He lives in the area and was a wonderful host as he took us up the cable car of the Duquesne Incline for a marvelous view of the city. A tour guide there took great pride in pointing out the history and achievements of the area, and we learned more about the French and Indian wars and General George Washington’s place in history.

On Saturday, we had another special guest. St. Pat used to be our principal and later oversaw Pastoral Care at St. Joseph’s Indian School. She is now back in her hometown of Pittsburgh was able to grace us with her company. Saturday night, 8^th grader Merrill got a visit from his aunt, who drove five hours from her home base in New Jersey just to spend a few hours with him.

 

Must be doing something right

St. Joseph's Indian School's Hogebach girls.

Hello!  My name is Claire, and I work in both high school girls’ homes.  One question people often ask me is, “How can you do it?”  As a houseparent for 21 teenage girls, I used to ask myself that question a lot.  Literally.

My first year here my houseparent key was marked YB1, so every time I went to open the door to work, I was confronted with the question, “Why be one?”  Apparently after three and a half years, I have answered that question sufficiently well.  My key now reads YA1.  I figure if I can say, “Yay I’m one!” every day, I must be doing something right.

So how do I/we do it?  In some ways, we do what most parents do— we’re there when the kids get up in the morning and again when they go to bed at night.   We have to tell them they are beautiful enough, so please get out of the bathroom before they miss the bus.  We’re super fans, chauffeurs, cooks and coaches.  We share their prayers, troubles and triumphs.  Of course, most parents don’t have 10 teenage girls.  Then again, most parents don’t co-parent with 4-6 other people who get regularly breaks and who meet every week to talk about what we are doing and why.

The first step to houseparenting is to care.  Usually, that’s easy because we have such wonderful kids to work with.  Sometimes caring is hard—we have to care enough to let a kid be really angry in our presence, especially when it is not our fault and even when it is.  We have to care enough to swallow our pride and admit when we make mistakes.   We have to care enough to be curious when we don’t know what is going on with a kid.  We’ve have to care enough to let kids make mistakes and pay the price sometimes.

As houseparents, we have to get creative.  Whether that’s figuring out what to make for supper—knowing that this one hates onions and that one hates cheese—or finding a way to cook dinner, cheer on the basketball team, get homework done and have everyone into bed at a decent hour.  Sometimes, it’s just a matter of knowing that this kid doesn’t want hugs but will accept a mug of tea (only one sugar, thank you).

What really makes houseparenting possible is our ability to really focus on our kids.  By this I mean, we don’t have to worry about medical bills, leaky faucets or running out of groceries.  As houseparents, we are supported by thousands of donors and an incredible staff that makes sure these needs are met every day.  We are careful stewards of course, and we track our budgets to make sure we are making wise use of our resources.  OK, so when we are WAY OVER budget for allowance because our kids are getting fantastic grades, we are all secretly gleeful.  And I don’t think donors will mind one bit.

So, thank you to all the people who make it possible for me to do the job I love.

 

A visit with my oncologists

Checking in, checking up, checking out!

I’ve been on the road a lot lately, and today is a day to do laundry and repack my bags for the next trip. We’re going to Pittsburgh for donor appreciation luncheons and I’m sure I’ll have a few good stories to tell after our return.

Last night, I returned from the Mayo Clinic after follow-up tests and visits with my oncologists. Thanks be to God, my cancer is still in remission, and I won’t have to return for another checkup for in six months.

Thank you for your prayers and support.

Overall, I’ve generally been feeling good. Still, I had a touch of anxiety heading for the check ups because I didn’t feel ill when they discovered the cancer in the first place. As I drove into Rochester, instead of sickly feelings, my memories of people who visited me in the hospital and at Hope Lodge, places we ate and conversations we had. I recalled fellow patients who offered their support. As I walked through the halls for my appointments, I remembered the initial visits, not knowing my way around, not knowing quite what to expect. Through the grace of God I’ve come a long way.

Like many of us who hit middle age, the doctor did notice rising levels of cholesterol and triglycerides and told me to take it easy on the holiday sweets and treats. He said I need to adjust my eating habits, (and take to heart the healthy school lunch challenge that St. Joseph’s Indian School earned!) and eat more fruits, vegetables and whole grains, and keep sugars and saturated fats to a minimum. He also said, the nerves in my leg have probably healed about as much as they’re going to. I’ll have to give up on fast breaks and stick to a set shot. But all in all, he was very happy with the progress I’ve made.

I enjoyed the gracious hospitality at St. John’s parish, which is literally across the street from the Mayo Clinic. Fr. Jerry and Fr. John have made it a home-away-from-home when I go for check-ups. At the 12:10 mass, I ran into a couple of St. Joseph’s donors who assured me of their continued prayers and a woman who herself was visiting the clinic for cancer treatments. We promised to keep each other in our prayers. My own brush with this illness has made me more aware of others struggling with health issues. I continue to hear from many people each day, requesting prayers and I am very mindful of all those in need of healing.

The drive is long, about 350 miles each way. But after the good news, I traveled back on eagles wings, with spirits soaring.

Back on St. Joseph’s Indian School’s campus, I noticed that three boys, in one family, have been checked out for an extended period of time, and asked if they were going to withdraw. Their home is two hours distant and their grandmother has been critically ill. They’ve gone back home to be of support to her. But they’ve done well at St. Joseph’s and definitely want to stay. They hope to be able to return after Christmas break. In the meantime, our teachers have been sending work home where an aunt is home schooling them for these weeks.

I thought that was a creative and compassionate solution that lets them be with family at such an important time.

 

National Family Week Project

National Family Week is an annual celebration observed during the week of Thanksgiving that celebrates the family and its value to society.

These siblings made beautiful cards to take home to their family.

St. Joseph’s Indian School has recognized and celebrated national family week for over a decade.  With the assistance of the Shakopee Tribe, we are able to provide $30 worth of food to each of our families.  For the convenience of our families, food cards are purchased in advance and distributed to parent/guardians as they pick their child(ren) up for Thanksgiving break.   These cards empower families to shop independently for necessary items to complete their Thanksgiving meals.  When families have higher needs or find themselves in a difficult position over the holidays, St. Joseph’s staff assesses the situation and makes recommendations for further assistance.  For example, this year one single, working mother’s financial resources were spread so thin that the return of her two children for Thanksgiving created a larger grocery bill then she could provide.  St. Joseph’s was able to provide an additional food box filled with staples such as dry cereal and canned goods.

While food cards are greatly appreciated by our families, they are only one piece of our family week celebration.  One week before the students departed for break, sibling groups were brought together for one hour to create and decorate items for their families.  Each sibling group customized a card of THANKS and a I AM THANKFUL FOR … sheet.  While parent/guardians and other family members enjoy reading these cards and treasure them, I believe that the students’ energy around this night is the highlight of the week!  Older siblings will join younger siblings in their homes, while sometimes younger siblings join older siblings in their homes.  Regardless of the combination, sibling groups are together – laughing, giving hugs and talking about things that they are thankful for.

This year a larger group gathered in the Perky Home to shared stories about each other and their family.

This year, I was in the Perky Home where a larger group gathered to shared stories about each other and their family.  As the younger kids looked at and talked with their older brother and sisters, their admiration and excitement was obvious!  Older siblings began to delegate coloring projects and ask the younger siblings what they were thankful for, one couldn’t help but smile as the groups worked and laughed together.

This group of sisters had such a great time during National Family Week!

I also joined the Stevens Home, where a group of four sisters not only worked together, but also played together.  After wrapping up their projects, they posed for pictures, allowing their personalities to shine through.  Following pictures, they joined their cousins in the TV room where they all played “Just Dance” and enjoyed each other’s company.

A reflection upon National Family Week, always helps me to remember how truly blessed we are at St. Joseph’s Indian School …

 

Helping boys becoming men

Mike and April's philosophy, "don't give fish, but rather come along side them and teach them to fish."

Hello,

My name is Mike. I have been a houseparent at St. Joseph’s Indian School for three and a half years. My wife April also writes on this blog. We currently work as six-day houseparents in the Carola Home with 10 high school boys, as well as our two youngest children Miranda (6^th grade) and Seth (5^th grade). When we first came to St. Joseph’s we worked three days in the Rooney Home with 6^th-8^th grade boys and then three days in the Pinger Home with 6^th -8^th grade girls. Needless to say, life changed drastically every three days.

Almost every time I tell someone what I do, they ask just what is a houseparent? My typical response is, it’s the greatest job in the world. Artist mold and shape clay, doctors help mend broken bones,  but we mold and shape lives, we help mend hearts and minds.  We get the privilege to watch boys become men. My philosophy as a houseparent isn’t to give fish, but rather come along side them and teach them to fish.

We began working in the Carola Home last year with 10 freshman boys. Three of the boys were with us in the Rooney Home during their 7^th and 8^th grade years. The others, I coached in football their 8^th grade year. We ended the year with eight boys. All eight boys are back with us this year as sophomores and we have  added two freshman. One of the freshman was with us his 6th and 7^th grade years in the Rooney Home. It truly is a privilege to watch as these boys work towards becoming men.

An example of our boys working to become men is the following. Our typical day starts at 6:30 am. While I’m getting breakfast ready, the boys wake up on their own, clean their rooms,  bathrooms and come downstairs by 7:00 am. While they’re eating, I check their rooms and bathrooms. Once they have eaten, they do various chores such as: cleaning the kitchen, living room, game room or sweeping the stairwells. I drive the school bus to the high school for all the homes, so I leave around 7:25 am to get the bus ready. The boys finish their chores and Ms. April checks them. They get on the bus by 7:40 and arrive at school around 8:00 am.

Last year, I went up stairs and went to each room waking each one. I discovered not everyone is a morning person like me.   I then watched as they cleaned their rooms and bathrooms. After several reminders we made it down stairs, however not everyone was on time. At the beginning of this year, I asked them  if they wanted me to wake them or use an alarm clock. They all agreed to the alarm clock. I asked if they could get their cleaning done on their own or did I need to come and watch. They all agreed they could do it on their own. They even set the consequence for anyone who wasn’t downstairs on time. To date, we have had far fewertardies and fewer reminders about their cleaning . One of my favorite posters in our home is a quote from the 1 Corithians 13:11:

When I was a child I spoke, thought and behaved like a child, but as I became a man I put away childish things.

Thank you for all your support. Please pray for us as we encourage our young men on their journey. Also, if you have a favorite quote about becoming a man we would love to hear it. We have many posters on our walls encouraging our guys to become the man their families and communities need them to be.

Until next time,

Mike

 

Student athletes recognized for achievements

The student athletes at St. Joseph's Indian School did a great job!

After school the 6^th - 8^th grade youth gathered in the Rec Center for our Fall Sports Awards. Student athletes were recognized for achievements in cross country, football and volleyball.

Besides the awards for the best athletes in those sports, I am always touched by the acknowledgement of the kids who have the best attitude, make the most improvement and show leadership by their teamwork.

While being a little competitive is a good thing, I hope the sports and activities here teach our young people teamwork and the importance of preparing, practicing and working hard especially when the odds are against you.